I got the word of his final illness while I was at work and left to be with him and my mother as quickly as I could. I had to return briefly, and he slipped into the next world before I could get back.
The next weeks were a blur, as we moved through all the things you have to face when a loved one dies. So many of my friends and my family were wonderful in their support of my mother, brothers and sister as well as me and the love and support was truly welcome in that time when the pain was at its most raw.
But a strange thing happened. My co-workers, people I've known and worked with for years, ignored it. As if it had not happened. I came back to work, and we had lavish baby and bridal showers. But nothing was said to me. With time, and with people asking about my "vacation" I began to learn that really, no one was told of the death of my daddy.
I was hurt; I still am. You see, I was told that when one of the people who did know asked if they were going to send a card, they were told it really was none of the company's business. A wedding is the company's business, it seems, as is a having a baby (a very intimate act, I would have thought) but not a death in the family of an employee.
I bless and thank those of my coworkers that found out and sent me their personal notes. I've told the ones who learned late and were upset that it was not their fault. I hope in time to forget. But this night, as I approach my first Christmas without him, I'm having a little trouble letting go of my anger.
My loss is not as tragic as some of the things I have seen in the news: while you never are ready for the death of a loved one my father lived a full life and was much loved. So I ask you to remember all who are grieving and keep them in your prayers, and I wish you all remain, in this season, surrounded by those you love and who love you.
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